Graham Cosper, M.D., performed a rectal biopsy on my 18-month-old daughter last Wednesday. The purpose of the surgery was to determine if or if not my daughter had Hirschprung’s disease. We heard the results yesterday from his office and were relieved to find out that she is 100% healthy and does not have Hirschprung’s.

Dr. Cosper could not have been more professional. He was calm and reassuring when my wife and I needed him to be. Immediately after the surgery was finished he found us and updated us on what he did, what the next steps were and how soon we would get the results.

Thank you Dr. Cosper for everything!

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This is a forward i just received from my wife’s grandfather:

(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaGolf . My name is Trina. How can I help you?

(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Golfsmith stating that my Pro V1 order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your web site, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the web site. It should be fixed by the end of 2014. But I can help you.

(Customer) Thanks, I ordered some Pro V1 balls.

(Receptionist) Sir, Pro V1’s do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with a choice of Pinnacle, TopFlite , or Callaway Blue.

(Customer) But I have played Pro V1 for years.

(Receptionist) The government has determined that Pro V1s are no longer acceptable, so we have instructed Titleist to stop making them. TopFlites are better, sir, I am sure you will love them.

(Customer) But I like the Pro V1. Why are TopFlites better?

(Receptionist) That is all spelled out in the 2700 page “Affordable Golf Ball Act” passed by Congress.

(Customer) Well, how much are these TopFlites ?

(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package?

(Customer) What’s the difference?

(Receptionist) 12, 24, 36 or 48 balls.

(Customer) The Silver package may be okay; how much is it?

(Receptionist) It depends, sir; what is your monthly income?

(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?

(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government Golf Ball subsidy; then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below the poverty level, you might qualify for a subsidy.
In that case, I can refer you to our BallAid department.

(Customer) BallAid ?

(Receptionist) Yes, golf balls are a right, everyone has a right to golf balls. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

(Customer) Who said they were a right?

(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.

(Customer) Whoa…..I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding golf balls as a right.

(Receptionist) There’s no explicit mention of golf balls in the Constitution, but President Obama is a former constitutional scholar and he believes it would have been included if the Constitution had not been drafted by a bunch of slave-owning white men. The Democrats in the Congress and the Supreme Court agree with the President that golf balls are now a right guaranteed by the Constitution.

(Customer) I don’t believe this…

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the balls this year.

(Receptionist) In that case, sir, I will still need your monthly income.

(Customer) Why?

(Receptionist) To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.

(Customer) WHAT? You can’t charge me for NOT buying golf balls.

(Receptionist) It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income…..

(Customer)(interrupting) This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $49.50.

(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $49.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!!

(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

(Customer) Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.

(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.

(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates, sir

(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)

(Receptionist) That would be the IRS, sir. Thanks for calling ObamaGolf , have a nice day…and God Bless the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

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my-little-snugabunny-cradle-n-swingThis is a MUST HAVE for any new parent(s). I am SO glad a friend of my wife’s suggested we add this to our registry because it has become an invaluable soothing machine for our newborn baby girl.



Install:
Fairly cut and dry with a few confusing steps but if I can do it, anyone can put it together. Just make sure to use an electric screwdriver to make sure all screws/bolts are as tight as they can be.

Price: $140 (maybe less) but that’s about that average price I found at Target, Amazon, Babies ‘R Us and BuyBuyBaby.

Rating (1-5): 4.7*

*Would love to see future models integrate an iPhone dock that hooks into the swing’s speakers.

 

 

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I’m pleasantly surprised at the amount of “father groups” that have evolved over the years.

Fathers.com has a great links page with a pretty comprehensive list covering a wide array of categories:

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My little baby girl who I will refer to as “E” on this blog is about to turn 4 weeks old this Monday. Yep, it’s been a crazy journey since she entered our world but honestly the most joyous event I have ever experienced. Thursday night, we tried giving her a bottle for the first time…she liked it none!

I have a thick skin though and I’m persistent as hell so she and I we’ll be fine, we’ll get it down assuming her mother and I figure out which bottle we’re going to use. OY!

So apparently, the thing to do nowadays is to let your baby test out all different brands of bottles…to see which one suits them the best. I’ll have to get back to you on the results of our tests but I did want to share with you a diagram of a bottle brand called Dr. Brown’s. Opine on this while I go try and use this contraption to calm my baby down.

Dr Brown Baby Bottle

 

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Final Baby Shower

by The Student on February 10, 2013

in Marriage, My Life

We’ll be attending our third baby shower today and are so lucky to have the loving friends and family that we do. Our new baby will have such an amazing support system. To all my family members and friends, I love you very much and thank you for everything!

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Dinner So Good…

by The Student on February 8, 2013

in Food, Funny

My wife made a dinner last night that blew my mind. It was so good. I don’t even know what it was but it was so good I had to take my shirt off.

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I always throw laundry lint away, that’s a given. My tip for the world is to never touch laundry lint with your bare hands. Wear a glove or use a paper towel because laundry lint is made by the devil.

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There are so many things that a married man becomes accustomed to when he ties the knot. For me, there are so many examples that I’m going to list a few in this post and hopefully expand upon them in the future:

  1. Sheets – I NEVER used a sheet before I got married. Weird huh? I don’t really have an explanation for this except that I think it was a matter of convenience and efficiency. When I got married, KBF (my wife), introduced me to the wonderful world of sheets! Further, I was spoiled from the beginning because my mother-in-law gave us some sheets for our king-sized bed that were some ridiculously high thread count (yes, I even know what thread count is). So, not only do I use a sheet on our bed BUT I’ve become a sheet snob and will only sleep on those sheets from the MIL (mother-in-law).

  2. All Doors Closed At Nighttime – I had never really paid much attention to this one but every night, when KBF and I go to sleep, every door in our room has to be closed. For example, the bedroom door, the closet door and the bathroom door ALL have to be closed in order for me to be able to go to sleep now…Thanks goes out to my lovely OCD wife for this odd habit!
     
  3. Place Settings (See Below for Instructions) – My mother taught me how to correctly set a table. I just never had to growing up so I guess the knowledge of how to do so somehow escaped my ADD memory. Quickly did I learn that not only does KBF like the table to be set properly but so does the MIL and FIL (father-in-law). Rest assured, after messing up a couple of times, I was quickly re-educated on the correct way to set a table. I’ll file this knowledge under “Things I Wish I’d Never Learned But Know I’ll Never Forget.”

Information and Formal Place Setting

Those are 3 tidbits of things I’ve become accustomed to since that wonderful day in July of 2008 when I not only got married but I was forced to grow up!

 

REF

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My Analogy

by The Student on March 31, 2012

in General

Understanding women is like understanding which vegetables to grow in the ground. It doesn’t matter as long as they’re feeding you.

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